Living in the Unknown

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans for good and not evil, to give you a future and a hope. When you pray I will listen. If you look for me whole heartedly you will find me…I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes…I will bring you home again to your own land”  – Jeremiah 29:11-14

Well this move is one for the books. The house we were buying fell through. However, selling ours did not.  So, we are out…and in with my parents while we try and find a home we’re both comfortable with.

And preferably quickly. Because even though we aren’t in captivity, living in transition is difficult even with gracious parent hosts.

no clueIt’s beyond easy to get worried and edgy and irritated with this current hiccup. It’s not at all what we had planned and I’m tired of staying positive; it’s not easy for me.

I physically and emotionally can’t muster the smiles and optimism any longer. I am tired of it all and growing a babe and want some sort of normality for my Bug and Bear.

Yet, it’s not my plan that matters at all (clearly). God has a better plan and won’t allow my fleshy vision to let me settle for anything less than His best. He has a hope and a future and a home for my family.

He sees my babes and holds them; He sees me and holds me.

He has equipped me with all I need to love them through this. To love Chris through this.


And it doesn’t matter that I am tired; I don’t need to rely on my own strength and spirit. All I need to do is call upon the Holy Spirit within me: comfort me, sustain me, and cover my mouth when necessary.

  • J

If I believe…

If I believe then I must trust.

And why should I doubt;

Since he did not spare even his own son but gave him up for us all,

won’t he also give up everything else

Romans 8:30

I’m having some trust issues. I know because I’m uber worried about the future.


I also know that’s pointless. Life is meant to be lived moment to moment, which resonates with my bohemian heart. But my worry prone mind won’t seem to still.

Marriage and children teach you real fast how little you know and how much you don’t control.

i must trustBut I have faith, a hope in a confident future and I wasn’t meant to stay in this season forever.
So I cling to the promise, especially when I have reason to doubt.

And I try to remember to punctuate the surprises with hallelujahs.  After all, His timing is perfect, and He knows more than I do.

  • J