The past few days have been very hard for me.
The realities of major life changes are piling up and feeling heavy. Sleep is a nymph, passing in the night; sometimes stopping- often not.
And the hormones of baby girl just keep pouring out.
In the words of Willy Wonka:
“There’s no earthly way of knowing
which direction we are going.
There no knowing where were rowing
Or which way the rivers flowing
Is it raining, is it snowing
Is a hurricane a-blowing
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a-glowing
Yes the danger must be growing
For the rowers keep on rowing
And theyre certainly not showing
Any signs of slowing”
Unfortunately that seems like a fairly accurate descriptions of my feelings this weekend (prayers appreciated for the passengers).
Then dawn, after a particularly rough night this verse landed in my lap:
When my heart is overwhelmed lead me to the rock that is higher than I
It is perfect. My head is not overwhelmed. I have full faith in my decisions that have led me to this foggy place. I have full confidence in my cognitive abilities to navigate out.
I acted in faith, God is with me. He will make it work better than ok…He will use this for <GOOD>
My heart though, my heart is currently very overwhelmed!
The emotional toll this season is requiring I was not prepared for.
Life is heavy, I am tired in every sense of the word. I need help.
My heart was overwhelmed, my heart IS overwhelmed.
But I’ve found a simple peace amidst the raging chaos in meditating on this psalm:
“when my heart is overwhelmed lead me to the rock that is higher than I”
The rock, the foundation, my secure step ,a solid place to rest a minute: my Lord.
Notice it doesn’t say IF your heart gets overwhelmed. Saying yes to a life based on faith WILL produce an overwhelmed heart at some point…so will the consequences of old (and new) nonfaith yeses…
I’ve never truly meditated on a verse before. Never really understood the internal power one verse can have.
In the midst of my wild, God brought me this gift, this piece of wisdom, and I will cling to it.
Too often I’ve received and ignored parental advice. I’m getting too old for that and seeing too clearly mom and dad know best. So to this verse, this piece of wisdom from my heavenly father I will cling. I will return to many times a day.
In un-utterable prayer and in wordless praise I repeat my psalm and give my overwhelmed heart some rest.