Sprinkles are for Winners

Being a wife is way harder than being a mom, possibly more exhausting too. I think it’s because there is no option in not being a mom once you become one. It is eternal and undeniable. However, society has no issues if you stop being a wife. Many people even promote it, there are guide books even.

Society promotes personal happiness over all else; so if your husband doesn’t make you happy, leave him. As a wife, only 4 years in, I can confidently say, your husband will not make you happy a lot of the time.

And if you’re in the middle of littles you may question your sanity and wisdom and love and choice of mate. That is normal.

 

  1. he is a man and wired completely differently
  2. he is a man and therefore does not multi task efficiently
  3. he is a man and thinks he can fix everything with youtube better than a professional
  4. he is human and cannot read minds or thought bubbles (thank goodness sometimes)

 

Choose him anyways. Marriage isn’t supposed to be 50/50; you each carry the weight at different times. Sometimes you give and sometimes you get, and sometimes you can’t tell the difference through the exhaustion.

Society says it’s ok to quit, it’s ok to find your real soul mate and perfect fit. Many godly people say it’s ok to quit if your spouse isn’t godly.

 

“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,” 1 Peter 3:1

 

But here’s the thing, once you say “I do,” you become one. And maybe the fit doesn’t seem perfect and maybe its borderline painful at times. But instead of quitting and thinking of all the ways someone else would be better, easier to live with, at least more helpful…

 

Lift each other up, stop pointing out flaws that shrink. Focus on your mistakes instead of his.

sprinklesareforwinners

Most of all remember you’re both tired, and you’re both trying, and you do love each other.

 

And go get some ice cream with or without the littles, because sprinkles help every situation.

(I do think there are some serious reasons for separation, this post is not in reference to abuse of any kind)

  • J
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Dynamis

 

“This specific word power in Acts 1:8 is translated in the Greek as dynamis, which means physical power, force, mighty ability, energy, miraculous works.” First Five, Leah DiPascal

Something about my house haunts me.

Yes, this big beautiful old house we just purchased. I find it haunting and daunting. Almost immediately upon entering alone (without other adults) I get a pit in my stomach and my throat feels fuller and I must force myself to carry on as normal and keep smiling and mothering.

I am the adult now; I don’t get to be spooked and I don’t know what my deal is quite frankly.

This spring I was in survival mode trying to cope with the heaviness of this house and this life. But life has been heavy for awhile and pregnancy hormones are no new thing around here.

So I’m left with one simple conclusion, the devil is prompting me through this old house. He gets under the massive quantity of wood work and grates at my soul in unseeable ways.

If left to my own strength, I would crumble and fall and spend every night at my parents, kids in tow. I did for the first month.

20131222-094900My God is awesomely powerful though. He made the mountains, and placed the stars, and controls the winds and seas. He is in control of armies and galaxies. And allows his Holy Spirit to be directly transferable to little me.

In Christ I am powerful; I am given physical strength, force, mighty ability, AND energy to accomplish any task set before me. Including make this house our home, if only for the time being.

And I can breathe in during the heaviness that is sure to come, my lungs aren’t collapsing and neither is this old house. I am in strength training, and sometimes that’s painful.

  • J

Dark and Twisty

Twice now I’ve been verbally attacked. I slept like crap trying to figure this one out.

The edges are much blurrier. But twice now, I’ve taken the words, I’ve absorbed the anger.

I’m the common denominator; so I sit and wonder why.

Yes, I’m verbal and loud and emotional and rough along the edges. And despite my many, many blessings, showing joy is difficult for me, always has been. (minus with my kids)

Anger and outburst come naturally and satan fans that flame- hard.

And I’m working on it folks, truly. And the progress is decent, at least if you saw me at the beginning.

…But sometimes I still wonder why.

Maybe its simple, maybe its because I can take it. My entire life people have misunderstood me- thought I was one way over another, taken words over passion, but I am strong and deep and a decent swimmer.

I’m a lot of things, including tired. And happy is included in that list, even if I sometimes complain too loud to see it.

dark and twistyI guess that’s why I get thrown ugly sometimes. There are ugly twisted dark sides of me, despite how much light I try to cram in.

Last years words were “give freely,” something I’m still working on…but maybe this years will be “show joy.” Truthfully I can think of a lot of fitting words for 2016, but what good is any of it if I’m not joyful…or only joyful on the inside. Twenty years from now I don’t want to explain to my kids, mommy really was happy, I just held it on the inside. Ummm, what?!

And so maybe sometimes I get thrown other peoples dark and twisty and ugly. And maybe it hurts, but maybe I’m strong enough to carry their ugly and mine, when they need a source to unload.

In the meantime I’ll keep cramming in the light, and trying to show a little more joy.

– J

So You Had a Bad Day

Life is hard a lot, but that doesn’t mean it is bad.  Sometimes we subscribe to the false illusion that life should be easy, and, if it’s not, then it is bad and/or unfair.

Life isn’t going to be easy or fair.  If God promises anything besides our salvation through Jesus Christ, it is that we will face (at least) hardship and frustration  in this life – but that’s part of what makes His grace and salvation so much sweeter.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. – James 1:2-3

This easy to say, but hard to remember in the moment.

IMG_4044Monday, I blew a tire – like you hear a noise and check to see if a piece of your car fell off on the road because it was so loud blew a tire.  I didn’t have a spare and it was pouring rain. I sat in Lowe’s parking lot for about 2 hours waiting for a tow truck.

During that wait, I did what any mature, self-respecting 29 year old professional would…I talked to my mom on the phone while crying uncontrollably.

I am self-admittedly pulled really tight right now when it comes to emotion, stress, and tension.  This one unexpected thing happening while my main support team is about 150 miles away was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

the-straw-that-broke-the-camels-back
found at https://clairehendyuk.wordpress.com/

So, 1 totally shot tire, 1 tow, 30 hours, 1 blue rental car, 2 new tires, several hundred dollars later, and the Holy Spirit calling me to task…

I can recognize that this wasn’t bad – it was just life.  God blessed me in several ways throughout the process.  It happened in an area I knew well and was safe.  Every single person I interacted with in the process was so friendly and pleasant.  All the professionals I dealt with talked to me with respect (too often I find I am talked to condescendingly  as if I can’t handle technical terms because I am a woman).  I had been building up savings ~ so I didn’t have to worry about paying it.

It was a temporary 1st world problem. God’s blessings abound in the midst of this.  Every challenge offers an opportunity to grow and trust God.  I just find this harder for some reason in the small, seemingly mundane problems of life.

This world is temporary, just like the problems of the is world.  That doesn’t make it easier in the moment, but hopefully it helps give us more perspective and helps us keep our eyes and spirit upward.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but – what is unseen is eternal. – 2 Corinthians 4:18

And hopefully next time, I can handle the next “life” problem (not bad) with a little more grace.

-S

Be Like Water

like water“Be like water….when people are stressed they want to walk beside a still pond”

Ok, that’s paraphrasing, from an old Oprah magazine I no longer have and cannot cite properly.

“Be still and know that I am God” psalm 68:2

That’s the Bible.

“Peace is a state of mind, not circumstance”

That’s a summary of one hundred magnets and signs I’ve seen over the years.

Apparently slowing down helps.

As one who’s life is stressful. One who is bold, exciteable and fearless….and cowarding.

I wish I could schedule in quiet time, make appointments to literally soothe my wandering heart. I used to every morning…but the mornings are getting earlier and earlier, and some days I can talk myself out of bed at 3:30am to beat them.

But I have two littles, scheduling anything is not guaranteed.

So maybe I need to grasp real hard that, spontaneous calm can prevent spontaneous calamities.

And I’m afraid I’m on the edge of calamity, so I need to really cling to the calm. Force it when its not natural.

To be still, not rash.

To trust in my God and my ability to close my mouth is  slow – so I need to ask him to.

And to surround myself with people like water, deep and refreshing and pure.

With the ability to create coffee.

  • J

In Harshness and Discomfort

“This may seem unnecessarily harsh to you and me.  But God is never unnecessarily harsh…Our discomfort is not a reflection on the character of our loving and tender God.”  Whitney Capps in Disease Details from First 5 devotional

God is never unnecessarily harsh.  I’m not sure why this reverberated with me this morning, but it really did.

I think some of it was the “unnecessarily” part.  It’s big and powerful in this season of almost tangible discomfort.

It doesn’t say He won’t/can’t be harsh, but He is always only to the level that is necessary and no further.

I know from earthly experience that tough love is necessary for growth and learning (thanks mom and dad).  So, it only makes sense that my heavenly Father finds it even more necessary at times.

12140686_10108009578103094_4121437424497833696_nIf only I could learn things the first time or the easy way.  But, I’m guessing it is my stubbornness and interfering that often determines the level that is necessary.

So, in this period of uncomfortableness (that sometimes feels like unnecessary harshness), I’m trying to stay focused on the lessons that God is trying to teach me.  Why is this necessary?

While He has already shown me my need for a reminder of humility, I know there are more lessons to come.  I’m confident He will reveal this little by little as my impatient soul learns, yet again, to wait.

-S

A Heavenly Perspective

heavenly perspectiveIn that way, the irritant of the day became the conversation God and I carried on throughout it. Sara Hagerty in Every Bitter Thing is Sweet

 
What a simple concept, that requires very little expanding on…yet…

 

My days are full of little irritants (and big). So this week, this day, this moment I choose to discuss it with God instead of dwell on it with others.

 

To welcome a heavenly perspective because my earthly one is nothing but a scratched record.

 

And when I cant seem to un-focus, when the irritants wont back down…I will dwell on it, chew on it, analyze it…with my God.

-J