Being a wife is way harder than being a mom, possibly more exhausting too. I think it’s because there is no option in not being a mom once you become one. It is eternal and undeniable. However, society has no issues if you stop being a wife. Many people even promote it, there are guide books even.
Society promotes personal happiness over all else; so if your husband doesn’t make you happy, leave him. As a wife, only 4 years in, I can confidently say, your husband will not make you happy a lot of the time.
And if you’re in the middle of littles you may question your sanity and wisdom and love and choice of mate. That is normal.
- he is a man and wired completely differently
- he is a man and therefore does not multi task efficiently
- he is a man and thinks he can fix everything with youtube better than a professional
- he is human and cannot read minds or thought bubbles (thank goodness sometimes)
Choose him anyways. Marriage isn’t supposed to be 50/50; you each carry the weight at different times. Sometimes you give and sometimes you get, and sometimes you can’t tell the difference through the exhaustion.
Society says it’s ok to quit, it’s ok to find your real soul mate and perfect fit. Many godly people say it’s ok to quit if your spouse isn’t godly.
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,” 1 Peter 3:1
But here’s the thing, once you say “I do,” you become one. And maybe the fit doesn’t seem perfect and maybe its borderline painful at times. But instead of quitting and thinking of all the ways someone else would be better, easier to live with, at least more helpful…
Lift each other up, stop pointing out flaws that shrink. Focus on your mistakes instead of his.
Most of all remember you’re both tired, and you’re both trying, and you do love each other.
And go get some ice cream with or without the littles, because sprinkles help every situation.
(I do think there are some serious reasons for separation, this post is not in reference to abuse of any kind)