His Piece, His Time

I like puzzles.  Chaos turned into order. Each piece in its spot.

But, have you ever done a puzzle and found a piece that seems like it should fit?  So, you shove and push, maybe manipulate the edges a little to try to make it fit because for some reason you’ve decided it is the one?

a6f91adb68e4a0bcc523c94cc3aa7897I find myself doing this to my life.  Sometimes forgetting that God has the perfect piece He is preparing and holding for the perfect moment.
My job isn’t to try to find something else to fit a spot, but to wait for God to show me that perfect piece at just the right moment and then act in obedience.

I don’t need to try to strong arm things into working that He doesn’t intend for me.  His piece, his plan is so much better than the ways I try to make something work.

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Working Wonders

This week I can’t help but  be filled with gratitude, humility, and thanksgiving.

I have this innate desire to want to be independent; I want to know I can make it and do everything on my own.  But I can’t.  I can’t do anything on my own.

My attempts to “do life” are so sub par compared to what God wants and can do in my life. He has the power to transform my life in so many ways that I can’t even see…but sometimes I get a glimpse of how He knows so much better than I.

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from RedeemedJewelery https://www.etsy.com/shop/RedeemedJewelry?ref=l2-shopheader-name

That has been this week.  He has worked together things for my good that I didn’t see coming, things that I wasn’t sure I wanted.  He knew better.  He knew how well the puzzle pieces would fit together.  All I had to do was pray fervently, listen carefully, and respond in obedience.  Then, just sit back in awe as He worked His wonders.

“With thanksgiving let me remember, O my God, all your mercies to me and let me confess them to you.  Let my bones be filled with your love.” St. Augustine

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Another Left Turn

left_turn_only_by_awetumjoygasmI have been praying faithful for God’s will.  Over the past five years, I have learned over and over again that God’s will is always the step I don’t see coming.

God blesses us in ways we don’t see coming when we act in faithfulness and give up the reins of control.  His plan is deeper and better than mine can ever be.  His contains wisdom and longterm vision that I don’t possess.

So, I keep taking each step with the comfort in the knowledge and belief that He knows better than I.  After all He has said..

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11

The key is to be patient and not get in the way of God’s plan.  Don’t think I know better or think what God is asking is impossible or ridiculous and try to make my own path or solution.  (For a warning on how that can turn out, check out Sarai’s story in Genesis 16)

This still rings true.  In the last week, God has taken me on a major left turn that I didn’t see coming.  You know what?  It is yet again proof that His hand in my life is way better than when my hands are in control.

His blessings (especially the ones that come out of left field) are so humbling and continue to remind me that I have  a Father who loves me, a Father who goes before me, a Father who has a plan for me, and a Father to whom I owe my soul.

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Just a Little Push

So, pretty much all my question holes for next year have been filled in.  (At least all the ones that can be at this point.)  I’ll be teaching in a new district, in a new school.  

Truthfully, I thought God might be taking me out of education…but He answered the prayer I had been praying: close every door except one- so I that I would know his will.  So, I figured God would be using my skills I had been developing to teach new kids in a similar (if different) setting.  Again, I was wrong.  I’ll be teaching in a different context.

Why do I always think I know God’s plan?  He seems to always direct my feet to the path that I didn’t see coming.

But, I’ve been praying God’s will not mine for a long time.  That is clearly what He did and not at all in the way/path I had visioned (so very typical for our relationship).

c0e88c4798c48923b13f422b9c7f3325It does make it easier to go into the new and relatively unknown knowing that He picked this place, this job for me, and me for them.  There is so obviously work He wants me to do there and something there for me to grow in as I serve him.   

I will admit though- I feel a little better in the short term when God pushes me out of my comfort zone along the lines of my vision.  But, God’s ways of pushing me out of my comfort zone is just never any of the ways that I expect.

But ultimately, His vision is so much better than mine -both deeper and longer than anything I see.  And I really do want Him to use me in ways He sees fit. I want Him to put me in places where He can use me and it pushes me to grow.  He always knows best and I hope to always go where He leads with a willing heart.

Be full of joy all the time. Never stop praying. In everything give thanks. This is what God wants you to do because of Christ Jesus. Do not try to stop the work of the Holy Spirit.- 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-19

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O Sing My Fiery Soul

While I want to burn for God, that isn’t the blessing, the gift I’m most thankful for in this moment of unknown.

 

God made me innately fiery.  It is wrapped up in compassion and a natural tendency towards diplomacy, but the depth and passion I feel about things is undeniably fiery.

 

What God has given me lately is peace and calmness, not just in presentation or the outside ~ but to the depth of my soul.

 

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The Juggler’s Hour by Judith Clay

Normally, this would be a season of stress and anxiety.  Virtually my entire life is made up of balls in the air, with no idea of where they will fall.

 

Yet, I sit here, calmly, waiting to see God will direct their paths instead of stressing about how I can bring them safely to the ground.  This is so unlike me, so unlike my anxiety prone nature.  It truly is a gift in this seasons of tumultuousness.  

 

I know God uses both of these seemingly opposite sides together.  He will use my peaceful interior to give space to an all encompassing fire.
I can’t wait to see where it catches!

-S

If I believe…

If I believe then I must trust.

And why should I doubt;

Since he did not spare even his own son but gave him up for us all,

won’t he also give up everything else

Romans 8:30

I’m having some trust issues. I know because I’m uber worried about the future.

 

I also know that’s pointless. Life is meant to be lived moment to moment, which resonates with my bohemian heart. But my worry prone mind won’t seem to still.

Marriage and children teach you real fast how little you know and how much you don’t control.

i must trustBut I have faith, a hope in a confident future and I wasn’t meant to stay in this season forever.
So I cling to the promise, especially when I have reason to doubt.

And I try to remember to punctuate the surprises with hallelujahs.  After all, His timing is perfect, and He knows more than I do.

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Just Breathe

I am feeling overwhelmed.

Lord, I know you are in control.  You see and manage all the variable if we let you.

It is when we try to take charge and make sense that tension builds, stress rises, and (sometimes unknowingly) we shut you out.

We absorb the space we should be giving You to do Your work in our lives. – instead filling with stress and worry.

I refuse.

d317f12ee48146f03e4d5f8edd19e125For every breath I take, I am consciously breathing in your grace and power as I exhale stress, worry, and my own sad attempts for control.

Breathe in Your power.  Breathe out clutches for control.

I relinquish it all…

…to You

…my Protector

…my Father

…my Savior

I relinquish control to the One who knows and loves me best.

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