I’m reading this book called “Choose Joy,” it’s excellent and uplifting and holds me accountable for my own joy. Regardless of the circumstances of my life.
Which is a good thing. But today I don’t feel like choosing joy.
My husband is gone, bug had a horrible night, Nici is…well Nici, always intense (one way or another), and I’m supposed to be compassionate. I’m tired.
I’m supposed to choose joy and radiate Christ. I do feel like flipping some tables, Christ did that…so does that count?
As Christians we are held to high standards, which is a good thing, a biblical thing. However we are often judged, for having those standards, “you call yourself a Christian, yet judge others.”
Yes, I judge how people show love. I’m working on it, my empathy, compassion, grace (whatever you want to call it) is growing. But my standards for how we should love one another is high. And that is Biblical.
That doesn’t mean loving everyone is easy. It does mean we are called to try. It also means holding myself and those I love to high standards. I’m passionate and overly emotional…so is my God.
You don’t let your son die for others, for sinners, for those completely unworthy, unless you’re overcome with fierce irrational love.
You don’t hang suffering and tortured unless overcome with fierce irrational love.
So I’m reading this “Choose Joy” book, not feeling joyful, not feeling overcome with love. But feeling fierce.
And maybe that isn’t something to push aside as I search for sunshine. Maybe God purposefully placed this fierce beast within me so I could accomplish great irrational things.
Regardless of who is uncomfortable with it (myself included).
And yes, fierceness requires high expectations and unbounding love.