Not His Fault

I almost ruined a perfectly good day yesterday. I did ruin an hour.

And our zoo outing with friends turned into an aquarium visit without.

 

I almost blamed my husband for it all. And brought three years of legitimate frustrations into a self made morning of anger. Don’t get me wrong, plenty of bad days (or moments) are his fault. This time it wasn’t.

 

I didn’t eat breakfast (I’m not myself when hungry…)

 

And I have a shrinking, yet still very present, problem with letting go of self imposed timelines for a days events. When 90% of the time, if we leave 30 minutes late it does not matter.

 

its not his faultThe world will not collapse if I stop running around like a tazmanian devil. If I wait, and play, with the kids while Chris brushes his short hair and teeth and finds his shoes and phone and then asks questions. And then we can load the car together.

 

Heck, I can take an extra 10 minutes and do my own hair, if I slow down and let myself. (by this, I mean perhaps brush it today)

 

Luckily, this angry morning I did pack a granola bar, and Chris doesn’t hold grudges.

 

I know I am making a little progress because I allowed my irrational anger to dissipate before we even entered the aquarium. Typically, my irrational feelings linger a little too long.

 

But someone make me slow down, this is not the momma I want my kids to remember. Outtings shouldn’t be marked my irritation and fights on the drive there.

And breakfast is a must. Coffee does not suffice.
– J

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