Missing a Romantic Bone

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With Valentine’s Day approaching, talk of love is everywhere.  And it is interesting because this is the love I don’t connect with.  Truthfully, it is a love I have no interest in (or expectation of) connecting with.   The type of love that I connect with is compassion (which isn’t to say you couldn’t connect to both, I just don’t).  

I have never been a romantic.  (I still remember having a conversation with my mom as a little where I explained I was going to pick my husband in order to fight racism because social justice has always been my God given mission.)

My romantic bone is all but nonexistent.  But, my deep love of and compassion for humanity bone is oversized and takes the place of both.

I believe we are called to soar, to excel.  But we can’t excel or soar at everything.  I believe I can do anything (with some obvious exceptions), but not everything.   I want to go deeply into everything I do, which means I choose those things very carefully because I am incapable of staying at the surface level.  

I realized in high school, as I looked around at other families in the stands, as I looked around to the other couples in my extended family.  That was not me and never would be.  Love in its best sense is 2 becoming 1.  I didn’t want that, I don’t want that, I don’t think I ever will want that.  I’m too stubborn.  It’s not that I can’t  compromise or share, but that I don’t want to.

You can’t have everything and achieve everything.  That was the thing I was willing to give up.  I didn’t/don’t want to to shift priorities.  I don’t want to shift/share responsibilities.  I want it to be me and God.  Just us everyday, all day.  

I am by no means advocating this approach for others or saying that marriage is bad or compromising.  I’m just glad God showed me so clearly that it wasn’t His plan for me and blessed me with, not just acceptance, but no desire for something different.
I know Valentine’s Day can be wonderful for some women (and men) and painful for others, but, just remember, you are loved beyond belief by the One who knows you beyond belief.  

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