Every holiday season we whip out a little game called Settler of Catan.
I’m not sure why I participate. I rarely win and frequently get cranky and am too distracted to device a solid game plan or read the cards I get….I digress.
You win the game by having 10 victory points, which you earn a number of very different ways.
This new year, 2016, I’m trying really hard to keep perspective. 2015 was rough, continuing the game lingo, my oxen drowned and my family died of influenza.
I felt exhausted and empty, a lot. Satan achieved some many victory points in my daily life simply by me losing perspective and freaking out. In those moments, I showed no trace of God in me, and didn’t be a foundation in Christ for my family.
I want a new year, a new beginning, but am smart enough to know it wont be all rainbows and unicorns, especially with a move on our horizon.
So my goal, my new word this year, is perspective. This life is a cosmic battlefield, my home is a battlefield.
My life, parenting, marriage has come a long way in 5 months (in many ways thanks to counseling).
But some days I lose all perspective. I feel angry, and ugly, and fat, and miserable in a difficult marriage, I feel not understood, and under appreciated, and I lash out. And I yell and cry and want my point proven and eyes opened, and I want to move forward and not be here again…
Every day Satan uses the ordinary daily mundane to overwhelm me and I inevitably react in his favor, when I lose perspective, taking victory points away from God and handing them over to the enemy.
“Do I really…believe that anger achieves more than love? That Satan’s way is more powerful more practical more fulfilling in my daily life than Jesus’ way? Why else get (so) angry…because I think complaining, exasperation, resentment will pound me up into the full life I really want? When I choose – and it is a choice- to crush joy with bitterness, am I not purposefully choosing to the ways of the Prince of Darkness?”