Paper Airplanes and Paper Cuts

A perfect friendship is like a perfect marriage-

It doesn’t exist.

Greatness is in the imperfection; beauty is in the flaws, loved despite the cracks.

We are all cracked people, and yet sometimes we find someone who makes our canyons like crevices.

paper airplane tutorialAnd sometimes we find someone with good intentions who occasionally throws us a paper airplane…while we try mapping out our canyon.

I want to say run from these airplane throwers – the ones with “good intentions” and false hope of any real help.

These people not only let you down, they keep you down.

Again, and again, and again.

I want to run- but that’d by hypocritical considering my slow walk backwards from the airplane throwers in my life.

I keep looking back, praying for a change of great magnitude. I keep reaching out.

I have a handful of papercuts.

I love this person.

They used to love me, they used to know me.

Maybe it was pure naivety to think we’d walk our canyons together. Maybe all along I was holding her hand over her canyons.

And she was… making paper airplanes.

And maybe the airplanes are less about false hope and help for me (they’ve only ever let me down)

Maybe they were always about her trying to escape, to fly away.

I do believe we are supposed to forgive, 77 times, but at what point do you bandage your hand and love them from a distance?

Is that even a real thing? Love from a distance.

What if they don’t want love- not the hard kind you only know how to offer; the give and take self-sacrificing kind.

My heart is heavy but hand is healing, the paper cuts are becoming sliver of scars.

When she is ready, she will reach out again and my hand will be healed- and reaching out for her again.

But I’m done with the god intentions and false hopes. Keep your airplanes and fly away if you must. But you cant fly away from yourself sweet girl.

And you can’t out run my love.

-J

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