I know a lot of women whose kids are older than mine. These women are great, godly women, flawed but leaning on the Spirit.
I also know a lot of great ungodly women in similar seasons of life. And they all share one thing in common…the feeling of losing themselves.
No longer knowing who they are after years of diapers, tantrums, toddler tunes, and dino snacks. (or maybe that’s just my routine?!)
They seem to lose their sense of identity and self worth somewhere between 10am and 2 pm. While this is all too common, it’s not my experience at all.
I found myself and continue to rediscover myself with babes in arm. I was lost, desperately searching, and now the main thing I’m searching for is a hiding man cub among the pillows.
Yes, someday I long for loud music and a huge canvas and margarita before 2pm.
But I’m not lost or losing myself in tantrums and puppy kisses.
I am the best version of myself when I revel in the moment God has called me to: motherhood.
This isn’t an easy season. The tantrums keep coming and I’m quite confident I’m screwing them up, but my mistakes are based in love.
There is no manual or school required with reproducing.
But I do know this: it is self-sacrificing, thus losing oneself seems easy.
Especially in this era of parenting…where selfishness and how you FEEL trumps all.
“And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” Mark 8:36
You’re told you can have your cake and eat it too. The fine print is the cake mess you’re going to be cleaning up later.
However, I think that’s exacty what is leaving moms feeling unsatisfied.
You can not have it all. It is physically and emotionally impossible.
It’s more than ok to be “just a mom.” In this fast paced world it’s a holy gift.
It’s years granted to see yourself through the eyes of a child.; to see the world new with each additional child. To view un-jaded and awe struck every ordinary wonder…albeit through tired lenses.
You give and give until there is nothing left. Yet, I don’t feel empty. Those slow puppy kisses, and ‘rella cuddles, and big Bug eyes, and belly laughters…those babes that drain me fill me right back up.
So I urge you, lean into God’s Holy Spirit, ask for endurance and patience (because those babes require both). Find your worth in His plan, not worldly standards. Being just a mom is enough, and holy work.
Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. 1 Peter 5:2
God didn’t call us all to everything. And the small moments, and small people I’m responsible for are big enough for me. And my God.