I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender responsive heart. Ezekiel 36:26
I don’t think anyone has every called me tender. Responsive, yes.
I hope no one calls me stony. Stubborn, more times than I can count.
I guess that makes me the stubborn responsive type.
At first glance this passage seemed to be about accepting Christ, but I did that many many years ago. I do believe at that moment, a new spirit was put in, my heart and soul were forever changed.
My actions, not necessarily – not until recently. I’m very slowly learning to let go of very strong parts of me, to give my new spirit free reign…to allow God’s presence to influence my actions more so than my desires.
And I’m not “losing myself” (although at times I’m completely lost).
In the depths of my forest and midst of my mountains I am just beginning to find myself. Finding the tender spirit God placed in me so long ago.
I’m learning to create new habits and routines. Learning to set aside the stubborn responsive heart I’ve grown so accustomed to letting reign.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always be stubborn (and responsive) and I don’t think that’s a bad thing.
After all, the verse does say “He’ll place in us a tender, responsive heart.”
And stubborn is only bad when coupled with stony.
So I continue to learn to respond in love, even when its really hard and inconvenient.
Instead of blindly leading and snapping back justified, instead of holding onto anger I’m learning to let Him lead. To be my guide up the mountain, so I can become the woman He has big plans for.