My Soul Wasn’t Made for an Easy Life

How do you create a home space that actually beckons people to drop in? How do you forge those friendships at the beginning, with small babes and mismatched schedules?

Because while 1 ½ fels so big sometimes, and the attitude is larger than life, he is still little.  And this season is simple and hard.

“Since my soul wasn’t made for this easy life, I know hard circumstances aren’t my problem, not really, my problem is how I carry them” Emily P Freeman.

my soulI LOVE this quote. It sums up my life. Especially considering the growing body aches from literally carrying my 35lb one and a half yr old, and growing his sister inside.

Life feels heavy right now; it’s beautiful, but heavy. I am carrying it all wrong.

I need to stop trying so hard. I don’t need scones or crumpets and tea (or a clean house or food for every new allergy and sensitivity).

To create a space of love and comfort, I simply need to be honest. To be imperfect and flawed wide open – To keep the invites coming until the friends come without them.

The last one is hard for me. I’m emotional and take things personally, because you know you’re kid not getting up, then spilling milk everywhere, while rubbing yogurt on the dog, making it impossible to make the playdate…that’s totally about me!

I let Satan get in my head, and rethink my house, my home, I need to simplify. I rethink myself, am I too pushy, too cluttered, too grasping at air?  And by that point, Satan has won.  Its no longer about hospitality or love or being there for people.  It’s about myself, and fleshy approval. What I need, what I want.

You’d think in this season of littles I’d have firmly learned that right now it isn’t about me.

Some moments, some days it might be. Overall, it isn’t. And that’s ok.

As I pour myself out, God fills me up. I don’t have to do it myself, I don’t have to grasp for approval.

I am approved. I am loved. I am building a home wide open, not for myself but for the opportunity to share and build life with others.

So Satan can just back off my doorstep. I’m too tired to mess with his words.

-J

 

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