“ Change the way I think”
That has been a continuous battle/prayer for me, since as long as I can remember truth be told.
Recently a new bend in my way of thinking has occurred… letting ‘what if’s’ ruin my day and attitude.
I’ve never really been the person to over think a situation or decision. I’m the one who just acts and later realizes some details probably should have been considered.
Being a mom changes that.
AS moms we have to plan out everything: do we have enough snacks (for us all), enough diapers, wipes, a change of clothes, the good binky, the right silky, a blanket, a stroller, Tylenol (because my child never stops teething and never gets new teeth), toys for distraction… the list is endless…
“Am I working this errand around naptime? What if he sleeps in the car, then I’ll get nothing accomplished this afternoon, what if he’s cranky, and won’t sit in the cart and screams the whole time wile throwing my groceries out of the basket for fun” and that’s how I’ve changed.
Instead of doing my outing and enjoying myself and my child, confident in my abilities to handle whatever life or Nici (figuratively and literally) throws at me; I worry 10 steps past necessary.
Funny thing is, I didn’t realize how much energy I was putting into hypothetical situations (that, ok, happened too frequently, but I always managed to get my errands done regardless of our attitudes).
I’m trying to change this way of thinking, and honestly have improved a lot since its been pointed out. Then again Nici is in a new stage of life – so maybe we both just out grew it.
I do know that God didn’t create me with a spirit of fear and that’s how I had been operating.
I need to lean into God and less on myself. No matter how much planning ahead I do, life gives me curve balls every week, if not every day! And my one year old has his own agenda anyways!
I need to focus my thoughts on things that will build up my soul, not tear down my attitude.
I need to focus on enjoying the daily blessings God lets me be a part of instead of trying to micro manage everything.
I need to change the way I think so I can better grasp and enjoy this wonderful journey of motherhood.
Nici is now past that fun stage and is happy sitting with his popcorn or helping my (slowly) push the cart. We both enjoy this phase much more!