It’s been a heck of a few days. Excruciating pain- leading to ER visits – leading to being sent home with the diagnosis of gout.
And zero pain relief due to the blessing growing inside.
I should also mention I meet zero risk factors and already eat a gout friendly diet.
So this was pure bad luck… or
God has a way of humbling us. Quickly.
It’s day 3 of severe pain and zero left hand function (3-10) days is typical; healing time without drugs. And let me just say 2 hands are needed for 99% of everything toddler related.
That being said, most of it I can figure out (suffer through) one handed. (Also, changing a poopy/teething diaper with a rolling 1 year old with one hand deserves an award.)
This morning I was feeling very depressed. I need so much help right now.
Why is that depressing? Especially when I have friends and family willing to lend a hand.
Is society, am I, so arrogant that needing help sends me into a downward spiral of depression and self-loathing?
Is needing help really all that bad?
Truth be told, I don’t think it’s the help that has me down. It’s the not knowing when I’ll be healed and two handed again.
It’s the not knowing coupled with the help.
Yes, God can be very humbling.
“Whatever mess I’m in, I can exhale relief: I have a messiah who meets me in it, wont leave me in it, will carry me through it” Ann Voskamp
Meets me in it: with helpers and stamina for sleepless painful days/nights
Won’t leave me in it: everyday I get more adept with with my right hand
Will carry me through it: encouragement and strength for the moment
Notice I wasn’t naïve enough to say “will take away my pain immediately because that would be ideal and convenient”
Maybe I’m being melodramatic about the pain (which I can attest I’m not, I have a high pain tolerance and it intolerable)
But, I think the take away is this: not knowing and needing help (although frustrating) is an ok spot to be in when I can rest in the assurance that no matter what the time frame I will be carried through it.
Sidenote: thank you to everyone who has helped and dealt with my crabbys through the past few days.