My Gypsy Soul

Zora Neale Hurston said, “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”  2014 was a year that asked more questions than it answered for me.  As some questions were answered, it just led to more and bigger questions.  It was a year of personal growth and change that left me asking God what is coming next?  The gypsy in my spirit feels the change coming on the wind.  Which wind and where is it going though?   I want to know.

“Can you pray what David did in Psalm 69:13 and ask, ‘But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love, answer me in your saving faithfulness.’ And can you recognize that God’s saving faithfulness might be seen in not giving us what we want because He has bigger desires for us than we have for ourselves? Maybe God wants to do something bigger in us before he wants to do something big through us.” (from a Relevant article)

The concept/idea behind this has really been laying on my heart the last 6 months. I need to stop and reflect on what work God needs to do in me still.  Sometimes God has us stop for awhile on a step.  I need to serve him while this work is happening; maybe God is still preparing me for the next step.  Maybe it hasn’t been revealed because I don’t need to know and I’m not ready to get going.

Sometimes inaction and not knowing can be the hardest thing for me.  I’m good at the planning and preparing.  (My doing sometimes needs work to be honest).  However, the feeling that things will be happening, but not knowing when or where leaves me feeling helpless, which is not a feeling I am comfortable with.  This can be a gift, though, because it requires reliance on God.  I have to trust that He has a plan and will reveal it at the right time.  I need to just be still, listen, grow, and serve where I am in the meantime….

-S

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