“Make Me” Whispers My Soul

Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found.- Psalm 119:35

Sounds simple? Beautiful prayer, right?

Honestly it scares the crap out of me. I want to be brave enough to earnestly pray this, but I’m not sure that I am.

The first two words are what gets me… MAKE ME.

I’m a very independent woman. Was a very independent girl, heck I couldn’t play t-ball at 3 years old because I didn’t like people telling me which way I had to run the bases… That tenacity hasn’t left. So whenever someone demands I do something, my instinct is to dig in my heels.

So a prayer that begins with make me, that’s scary stuff. It’s coupled with truth though and I long for it.

 ‘For that is where my happiness is found’

Truer words I couldn’t have written. I only ever know true happiness when I am centered on Christ. When my life is full of His shadows everywhere because I am on His path, and they aren’t scary shadows, they’re more glittery. Yes, often dark, because God apparently thinks I have some super human strength and can handle way more than I think I can, (on way less sleep than I think I need) but the darkness is still glittery- black glitter. (Side note, I’m coining that phrase for Gods shadow on my life; black glitter. But that’s another post altogether). And glitter, especially black glitter, makes me happy. Peace is only ever present in my joyful exhausted life when I am walking with God, even if the circumstances aren’t pretty.

And it’s not the walk that scares me. I love a good hike, especially with a good friend (Jesus). It’s the ‘Make Me’. I like to think I’m good at listening to God, at least at hearing him. But as my mom would say, “hearing and listening are two different things” and “obedience isn’t just listening, it’s listening and ACTING immediately (not when I get around to it).”

So then what am I asking if I pray for God to MAKE ME walk along the path of His commands? Essentially I’m saying, be blunt and leave me no way out. Don’t provide a safe or easy route because I might be weak and take it. Lord, leave me no other option than to turn to you!

Holy cow~that’s a brave prayer! One I may not be prepared to handle, yet maybe in tonight’s darkness I’ll just soul whisper it. Does God respond lighter if a prayer is whispered by your soul?

Sometimes I hope so.

– J

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